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8 Perks and Problems of Fuck Buddies

Chrissy Kay by Chrissy Kay

According to urbandictionary.com a "fuck buddy" is: All the benefits of being in a relationship minus the bullshit like not doing enough for Valentine's Day or her birthday, not spending 3 months salary on a stupid ring, and not spending enough quality time with her.

"The sex with Lisa is great but she's a pain in the ass - I wish we could just be fuck buddies and not boyfriend/girlfriend"

In most cases, fuck buddies are just not planned. It just seems to happen by itself. Unlike love, the characteristic about local fuck buddies is that there is no planning, no first impressions and definitely no heartfelt gifts. And the rest just seems to happen all by itself.

When you're ambitious and cannot understand the point of thinking about someone else's feelings and happiness, or if you just don't want to be held down by another person's feelings, a fuck buddy is a perfect solution. You don't have to keep in touch with this person every day or every week, nor do you have to remember anniversaries or put up with cute little love tantrums.

But you can always call your fuck buddy and go all the way, whenever and wherever you want. This form of non-committal love can be fun, if you're still looking for that hint of long term love, but just don't want to jump in, especially if you've always felt that true love can wait while you explore the different opportunities life has to offer.

A good fuck buddy can be one of the greatest things a girl can have. The road to attaining such a person can be fraught with difficulty, however. Here's a guide to the perks and problems of having a fuck buddy.

Perks

  1. Satisfaction at your fingertips.

    There are few things less annoying to wait for than sex. This scenario provides instant gratification.

  2. Sex with no strings.

    The most apparent positive point about being fuck buddies is the availability of easy sex, without all the pressures and limitations of a relationship. Using each other in a good way, however, because removing all the emotional baggage from sex makes it much simpler and potentially more enjoyable.

  3. Everyone gets what they want.

    No awkward conversations about their horrible ex of 5 years that left them emotionally unavailable afterwards (blah blah blah); no hesitations about letting them know what you want and when you want it. Winning.

  4. Comfort.

    Performance anxiety is less of an issue with friends because you'll be more comfortable with them in general, physically and emotionally. If someone has a strange birthmark or love handles, you already know this and don't mind, and you don't feel the need to conceal your own physical flaws. You'll also probably know exactly what to expect in the bedroom and, regardless of how your hookup plays out, you will still have your friendship, and should be able to laugh about it.



Problems

  1. You probably know as much about your buddy as you do about underwater basket weaving.

    Get tested regularly, as you never know what kind of STDs people could have. You're especially at risk on those not-so-sober nights when you decide Mr./Ms. Hot Stuff's bed was a little more comfortable than your own. Get checked!

  2. It can end at any time.

    Don't expect a courtesy text letting you know it's over, and you definitely won't get an in-person break up and explanation. But hey, that's the beauty of a "No-Strings Attached" relationship. A hook-up buddy is meant to be temporary, and those late-night sexts that start with, "What's good tnt gorgeous?" aren't going to work forever.

  3. Someone may get too attached.

    Various types of emotional fallouts can doom the fuck buddy situation. The most common type is when one of the friends gets too attached and begins wanting something more. If the other person feels differently, they will get hurt. Sometimes one of the parties may become jealous if the other person starts dating someone else seriously. It can be very difficult to separate emotions from sex, but if you want to be fuck buddies that is exactly what you have to convince yourself to do.

  4. It eventually loses its glamour.

    Yes, we like to pride ourselves on being DGAF about the whole relationship biz and love screaming #YOLO with our single friends as we guzzle down vodka in the bar. But really, "emotionless" sex can only be fun for so long before it starts getting old - a reason we all eventually crave the comfort and fulfillment of having a steady partner. Different is fun, but consistency is key, and will make you feel better about yourself.



If your going to run with these tips and download tinder right now, read these quick rules of having a fuck buddy who you might want to turn into a partner some day:

  1. Go with the flow.

    Don't try to control the direction of everything, and be wary if he's trying to control it. If he's trying to set arbitrary rules or limit how much he sees you or the situations you do together, tell him to chill out or get out.

  2. Don't limit the affection.

    Be affectionate, sweet, caring, everything that you would be to your close friends. If you start to feel resentful that you're not getting more from him, that's a red flag, and you need to discuss it with him (in person, not text) or pull back.

  3. Don't let your life revolve around him.

    If he's not your boyfriend, then you have to continue to flirt with other guys, talk to other people, plan your living and job situation as if you are single.

  4. And...

    my final tip of advice: Make sure you're always having fun. If he stops being fun, or isn't there for you when you need it, then pull out and say, sorry man.