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8 Do's and Don'ts of Sex Buddies

Chrissy Kay by Chrissy Kay

Today we're going to discuss casual sex buddies. What exactly are they? They're people you only want to have sex with, no strings attached. It's not friends with benefits because you guys weren't friends before sleeping together and certainly won't become friends after the fact. And it's obviously not a relationship because you guys have no interaction or romantic connection outside of the bedroom. Obviously, this sort of set-up with sex buddies could get complicated quickly because there aren't any rules or guidelines. Thankfully, we're here today to break down the dos and don'ts of fuck buddies to give you all some clarity on the topic.

Dos:

  1. 1. Have respect for each other.

    Yes, obviously your connection together is simply sex and nothing more, but that doesn't mean you can treat them like garbage. Even though your emotions shouldn't be involved, that doesn't mean you can be an a**hole for no reasons or walk all over each other. Everything has boundaries, and that includes sex buddies. So, respect each other, no matter what. That means don't say degrading things, don't spread rumors about the sex, and don't ever show or share any nudes you've received. It's pretty simple: no respect, no sex.

  2. 2. See other people.

    Never get tied down by a sex buddy, it's not a relationship you should be emotionally or romantically invested in. That nonsense is for relationships and relationships only! Having a sex buddy is not exclusive, so play the field! The more, the merrier. We can guarantee you that your sex buddy isn't holding themselves back- so why should you? We're not saying you should bang everyone in sight, but under no circumstances should you not date someone else because of your sex buddy. Don't let your sex buddy hold you back from finding someone.

  3. 3. Be honest.

    It's harder to be brutally honest in relationships because there's so much at stake. You don't want to risk getting into an argument, or risk hurting the other person's feelings. But you should always be honest with your sexy buddy. Don't like a certain thing they're doing in bed? Tell them. Don't want them to sleepover? Tell them. Are you hungry? Tell them. Over them and want to stop sleeping together? TELL THEM. You have nothing to lose with sex buddies because you're not invested in anything. You should never feel awkward or uncomfortable bringing something up with your sex buddy. And honestly sex buddies never last that long, so make sure you're doing everything you can to make the most of the time together, and that means being honest.

  4. 4. Experiment in bed.

    This situation with your sex buddy is only about sex - you're not stupid, I don't need to spell that out for you. So if all you guys do is bang, why not try new things and get creative with it? Try things you'd never try with your significant other, because again, what do you have to lose? Be open minded and try things you usually never would. That could be new sex positions, toys, getting it on in random places- really anything. The key is being comfortable and open minded.

Don'ts:

  1. 1. Go on dates.

    Dating is for relationships or potential relationships, which sex buddies is not. Going on a date, even if it's just breakfast after sex, could give one of the people involved mixed messages or enhance feelings. The two of you should keep it all and leave it all in the bedroom. If you're looking for something more than that, then you're not the right person to be a sex buddy. Dates are meant to build connection, get to know one another, and to progress the relationship. All of these things should not and will not happen with your sex buddy.

  2. 2. Cuddle or sleepover.

    The last thing you want to do or should do is build an emotional attachment to your sex buddy. Well, sleeping over and cuddling is intimate and will build your emotional attachment to that person, which you need to avoid at all costs. This stuff should be left for girlfriends and boyfriends. Gaining feelings or emotional attachment for your sex buddy is not an option. As small as an act as cuddling and sleepovers might be, they're crucial if you don't want to get attached or send wrong signals.

  3. 3. Let them into your personal life.

    You shouldn't introduce your sex buddy to your parents or your friends. You two are connected for one reason and one reason only: sex. Getting them involved with people outside the two of you (besides roommates) will only complicate things and make it more like a relationship than sex buddies. The last thing you want to do is create a grey area; sex buddies should be a very black or white concept. In other words, if it's something you'd do with a boyfriend or girlfriend (besides sex) don't do it with your sex buddy. And how would you even introduce your sex buddy to people? Hey, guys, this is Greg, we casually sleep together a few times a week, but I don't even know where he's from. Just don't.

  4. 4. Don't get jealous.

    As we mentioned earlier, even if you have a sex buddy, that shouldn't stop you from playing the field. That should be established between the two of you early on, and it should honestly just go unsaid but understood. That means it would be utterly ridiculous for you to freak out on them for flirting or making out with someone at bar you're both it. It would be stupid for you to get pissed for seeing them on a date with someone else when you're just trying to hook up tonight. It would be lame for you to call them out for texting other people. If you don't think you can handle this sort of set-up, then you need to get out of it, and fast.